Friday, 09 January 2009

• I'm so tired and frustrated I don't even know what I want to write!

  So many good and even great things have happened but I guess I need to have down times too.

  GREAT: my friend C came over today with her 2yo.  For 3 hours we worked on my pantry and set everything back in it's place!  It's a big pantry and it was mostly organized but over the last several months it got away from me.  This also allowed David to work uninterrupted for 3 hours upstairs.  David's friend T came over to help him take down the outside Christmas decorations.  Plus they got to visit and have some time together. 

  Good: dinner at Costco, one of my favorites, plus I got out of the house.  A nap on the couch while the older kids watched Sesame Street.  Was called by a friend asking specifically how she can help and I told her what I needed - voila it's something she can do.  We went to the gym to talk to the owner: 1) he'll sell my FFC books for me and 2) he had lots of ideas for ways I can get my body strong and be ready to be without the brace when the time comes.  My MOPS leader asked me to share about the accident, I was writing it last night but it got long and had to put it on hold.

  Not good: AJ threw up after coming home from Costco.  Feelings of evil jealousy and insecurity asking for my full attention again.  Feeling limited by things outside of my control.  And I'm not talking about the neck brace and the limitations that come with the injury!  Feeling alone.  Even with all the emails and phone calls saying "whatever you need, just ask!" yet much of what we need there are very few people who can help.  As we cleaned out the pantry I came across the picture of the baby we lost and a pressed flower. 

  I'm frustrated and uninspired and tired.  Yesterday was not this way.  But I guess I have no where else to share this.  Isn't that why I started blogging in the first place??

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