I can only give the briefest recap of what has been happening here since February.  Physical Therapy.  A Ton of it.  But my last session is tomorrow and then I will have much more free time but also the responsibility to actually work out to continue growing in strength and spurring my bones to fuse.  Homeschool is going well but is challenging - I'm switching curriculum next year and will be doing 2 kids, not 1.  I'm going to be even more involved in my local MOPS group, which I love.  We're all becoming more involved at church and are in talks with some other couples about starting a home group.  The business looks like things are going to be getting better - June has 2 weddings and 1 Trash The Dress session, July has 2 TTD sessions and I think one family, August has at least two families, then high school football starts again in September.  I've been able to stay out of serious debt so far and this year might be a significant turning point.

I've changed www.nikspiks.blogspot.com to be more blog + photos and not just photos.  It won't be super personal stuff though.  If you know me and want to keep in touch, my email address is here, you can find me on Facebook or check the NiksPiks blog.   

I've enjoyed my time here and several of you were there for me when things got really tough.  I appreciate those of you who felt spurred by God to join Heartbeat and provide each other with community and accountability. 

If I don't return in 3 months then I will close this page.  But for now I'll leave it open, just in case. :)  You know where to find me!!

I'm so tired and frustrated I don't even know what I want to write!

So many good and even great things have happened but I guess I need to have down times too.

GREAT: my friend C came over today with her 2yo.  For 3 hours we worked on my pantry and set everything back in it's place!  It's a big pantry and it was mostly organized but over the last several months it got away from me.  This also allowed David to work uninterrupted for 3 hours upstairs.  David's friend T came over to help him take down the outside Christmas decorations.  Plus they got to visit and have some time together. 

Good: dinner at Costco, one of my favorites, plus I got out of the house.  A nap on the couch while the older kids watched Sesame Street.  Was called by a friend asking specifically how she can help and I told her what I needed - voila it's something she can do.  We went to the gym to talk to the owner: 1) he'll sell my FFC books for me and 2) he had lots of ideas for ways I can get my body strong and be ready to be without the brace when the time comes.  My MOPS leader asked me to share about the accident, I was writing it last night but it got long and had to put it on hold.

Not good: AJ threw up after coming home from Costco.  Feelings of evil jealousy and insecurity asking for my full attention again.  Feeling limited by things outside of my control.  And I'm not talking about the neck brace and the limitations that come with the injury!  Feeling alone.  Even with all the emails and phone calls saying "whatever you need, just ask!" yet much of what we need there are very few people who can help.  As we cleaned out the pantry I came across the picture of the baby we lost and a pressed flower. 

I'm frustrated and uninspired and tired.  Yesterday was not this way.  But I guess I have no where else to share this.  Isn't that why I started blogging in the first place??